In memory of you

You are the high note

I always sing and, still, miss.

You are the prose

I dearly write but cannot finish

‘Cause every time I begin

I get lost in the labyrinth

Of my limited memory of you.



Most of us, if not all, want to win. It doesn’t matter if it’s in a simple party game, in an official tournament, or in the challenges of life. We are nicknamed “competitive”.

I grew up in a society where I was always told to do my best and bring home the bacon 🏆, and that the only thing that matters is rising to the top. I remember someone telling me that being the second best also means you’re the best among the losers.

Recently I’ve been thinking, what does WINNING really mean? My default/cliché answers are popping up but I am not convinced. I know there’s more to filling your cabinet with medals and awards, which will be thrown away someday. There’s more to the recognition of the people. There’s more to reaching the “best *insert title here*”.

Then I came up with another (maybe more appropriate) question:

Is our idea/picture/meaning of WINNING the same with God? How does it look to Him?

As followers of Jesus, do we consider His kind of WINNING? Do we run after the things that matters to Him? Do we run in the race He set before us? Do we compete by His rules?

Because maybe, just maybe, we’re trying to win a race, a competition, or a fight for a prize that will rot and be thrown away.

You know that you’re adulting, especially as starter, when you came with the fam for a vacation but leaves earlier because you’ve got work. Although you’re late, you went to office anyway. Hahaha. It wasn’t as if you really had a choice since you’ll be off next week.

But travelling alone is one of my “idea list” so it was still an awesome two hour ride to work.

Spontaneous is my family name

Embracing my fam’s normal ways – an adventure filled with spontaneity.

Yesterday, I was out of my “normal Saturday routine”. My family planned to go for hot springs. I asked my pastor for a ministry leave for the family bonding.

Here’s the plan: Go to a town in the south and relax in a hot spring. We hit the road, drove kilometers away from home, and when we arrived in town only then did I discover that we don’t have a specific place to stay. My instinct was to panic and find a solution at the same time. But, I was calmed as I remember I am not in charge.

So instead of ruining that day, I decided to sit back, obey (while intensely praying in my inner most being that my mom and sister knew what they’re doing or desperately crying out for God’s miraculous mercy and wisdom!) and see how God unfold his plan and lead us to the next step.

Thank God, we arrived safely at a resort with a room that’s cool with a mini pool in it.