Getting Through

Never thought it was this hard.
Never thought it was this painful.
Never thought I will come this far.
I must have underestimated the struggle of “moving on.”

There’s a lot of things I never knew
Things I never imagined nor expected
Pain I don’t want to be felt and made me want to feel numb
But one thing I know that is right,
I must not bother you because you’re fine, and
I need to deal with this and move on.

I am indecisive, and I hate it
I said I want this and later on take it back.
But now, I don’t want to hurt you and my mentor again.
My decision, as of now, does not make sense
But, someday, it will do.

I always say, “I can do this,” but this time, I can’t.
I am tired, weak, and afraid. I am broken.
I cannot fix myself, but the Lord can, and He will!
Lord, help me get through this, help me win in this
Help me fix my focus on you alone, on Your love that never ends.